Saturday, July 09, 2005

Cirrhosis of the brain

Thursday night, Craig, Caren, Laura, and Amanda went to the Vu. I had never been, so I was kind of worried that it might be kind of a bust.

OMG. It was so much freakin’ fun. The comedian was great, the drinks were ok, I danced my ass off, and I was there with the most beautiful boy in ze world!

While coming back from the bathroom, a scantily-clad girl caught my eye across the smoke-filled bar. We can call her ‘A’. She came over, and after 30 seconds, I found out that 'A' was bisexual, had watched Craig and me dancing, and thought that “two guys together were hot.” By the end of the night, she made it very obvious that she wanted to come home with me.

She was also pissed that I was with a guy. Seriously—she was incredulous that I was gay. She was frickin’ hella cute, and I was totally baffled and flattered. Hot-Drunk-Bisexually-Aggressive girl, where were you for the first 19 ½ years of my straight life? Jesus-tapdancing-Christ. Craig got really jealous, it was sooo cute. Craig said that although he had never hit a girl before, he was about to “ass-punch that uppity hussy.”

Ok, so I made that quote up.

Anyway, the night ended with all 5 of us being too drunk to drive home, so Craig and I decided to walk back to my house. Somewhere in the process of crossing the quad, I decided that it would be a good idea if I took off all my clothes except my white boxers (aah!—see-through) and run through the sprinklers at 2AM. The shit that happens in the summer…

Of course I had to be at work at 7:30AM on Friday, but my debilitating sleep deprivation didn’t stop me from having some noisy ‘afternoon delight’ (::skyrockets in flight::) on my lunch break.

Last night I went to the South Farm picnic and drank some beer with Nick, Laura Donelly, and Blake. We played volleyball for like 2 hours, and I repeatedly spiked the ball in my ex-TA’s face (the same one that talked to his mom on the phone during class—“No mother, I have to go. Yes, yes. I will call you back.”) It was just too fucking funny.

I watched some Home Movies last night with Craig and tonight, after he is done with MMe Butterfly, we are going to SoCo to see his friend Jeff who is DJing and then to Shattered for some drunken debauchery.

My liver has currently escaped from my body and is cowering behind my bed. Now excuse me, I have to go show him who is boss.

4 comments:

amanda said...

next time, use your "drinking liver"...

it's like i can feel robyn scolding me. ow, my most of me.

Anonymous said...

I do believe the quote should read: "I've never hit a girl before but I'm about to bitch slap that drunk-ass, flea-ridden, boyfriend-scammin', like throwin' a hot dog down a hallway, 2-cent, ho-bag slut to hell and back!" But then she said I was hot, so i settled for giving her a mixture of incredulous and disapproving looks.

Aaron said...

dude, you seriously spiked on lewis? that's awesome. wish i could have seen that no talent ass clown try to play volleyball because i'm sure it was frickin hilarious.

Ed Grow said...

Mands-
Drinkin' liver my ass. And yes. Robyn disapproves.

Anonymous-
I know who you are. And I love your face off Mr. Clip Art rockstar.

Aaron-
Nothing has ever been so satisfying. It was kind of like kicking a baby-puppy, Louis was just pathetic.