Sunday, January 30, 2005

He's our Hero (gonna take polution down to zero)

Despite being totally worn out by Saturday night, Rachel and I still went out. Amy had a Napoleon Dynamite party (complete with k-sa-dillas and tater-tots) that was completely amusing.

But the highlight of the night was Zach’s birthday party, in which Zach, Marie, Joelle, and Rachel got in a wrestling match over control of the alcohol and rolled around on the linoleum kitchen floor at 2AM. Cake was eaten and beer was flung on the walls. Marie showed off her birthmark—which is described as half Sherlock Holmes, half standard poodle. Totally bizarre, especially since this was the first time I had met any of these people.

I busied myself with schoolwork today…unfortunately I think my cell bio presentation on Tuesday is going to crash and burn. And of course I am worried; doing well in school is a ridiculously large part of who I am. I am not sure why, maybe I am just kind of good at everything else…but being a nerd—I kick ass at that. Which makes me think of the Indian kid in Captain Planet. He got stuck with “heart.” What a total loser.

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Once it hits your's just so good

Lately I haven’t been going out much, so Aaron, Matt and I went to Karen’s for some beer pong last night. I turned out to be really good at it, winning 3 games in a row with my partner Anson, a frat guy from UMR. Maybe too good.

It was totally fun and I saw all of the drunks from last year. I don’t have a hangover at all, probably because I threw it all up last night…there is a trail of puke all the way from Jeff Co to University. Anyway, woke up this morning with bruises around my eye sockets. Frank the Tank is back!

Friday, January 28, 2005

This will be the last time I ever do your hair

I am really into lists right now. Here are some more:

Things that should cease to exist:
English professors (they are all a bunch of parasitic communists who can’t make it in the real world)
Toe lint
Pushy fat people

Things we should invent:
A way of controlling the weather
Larger portion sizes for skittles
A machine that looks and sounds like me that deals with the rest of humanity when I won’t

You're a virgin and you can't drive. That was way harsh Ty.

Here is a list of good things that happened to me today:
I worked out.
I got free pizza at work (and I got to pick the toppings).
The kindly people at the Plasma Biological gave me $25.
I finished a modicum of homework.
I dyed my hair black again with the rest of the henna.
I found out that my roommate, along with (supposedly) “like, so many other guys” uses the hole in the front of his underwear to pee out of. Before I was feeling left out that no one told me that.

Here is a list of bad things that happened to me today:
Manda got pissed off and stopped talking to me when I insisted several times that midgets are "extremely" decadent.
The first thing I saw outside this morning was a dead pigeon in the grass with its severed leg bleeding in the sidewalk.
My room is still a veritable crack-den despite putting ‘clean room’ on my to-do list for the past week.
I had a bag of microwave popcorn, a glass of pink grapefruit juice, and a fuzzy green skittle for dinner (looking back, maybe that should go in the good things list).

Sunday, January 23, 2005

you wouldn't know beauty if...

Rachel/Craig and I went to the met auditions in KC. They were amazing, although we didn’t agree with the judge’s final selection. Also ran into Sherry Liu and met her compulsive pre-med friends who had just finished a seminar on geriatric medicine. On Saturday.

Spent most of Sunday catching up on organic homework and picking out new literature.

So, I have realized that my posts may be a little stilted…even news-like, one might say. So, in an effort to remedy that here is this:

"Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo flying across a beautiful sunset? And he’s carrying in his beak a beautiful rose and he’s also carrying a beautiful painting in his feet. And also, you’re drunk."
-Jack Handey

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

A thimblesworth of milky moon...

Yesterday, Rachel and I went to downtown to get Turkish coffee, and relax before school started. We ended up listing all the French verbs we could remember. Favorites include: descendre-to go down, klaxonner- to honk, fumer-to smoke. Fittingly enough, she knows all the nouns and I know all the verbs, so between us we have a semi-functional French speaker.

Among other disappointments is my new humidifier. It isn’t a vaporizer—but a humidifier. So, you can’t see the water droplets and I have no idea whether it actually works or not. Pretty good business proposition…come up with some product whose intended effect is so subtle that the consumer can’t tell whether it is doing anything at all.

Meat poisoning?

Last Wednesday, Rachel/Craig/and I went to KC to have voice lessons with Dr. Witzsky, this baritone voice professor. Craig had 6 arias to go through because he is doing met auditions with Rachel this weekend.

I of course felt completely sheepish and self-conscious at first, but he turned out to be really cool. A little weird (I swear he never blinked), but people like that who have been alone with their art for so long do lose touch with the rest of the world. We made a lot of headway, mostly in the area of resonance and vowel placement-- and it was well worth the (ugh) $35/hour. Craig and I talked a lot about how important it is to hear someone demonstrate what we hear all the time in our lessons.

We went to get hamburgers after, and I ate a pound of beef in one sitting. If there is such a thing as meat poisoning I had it. Not fun—especially driving home 85 mph+ in sleet on I-70.

School starts tomorrow. Actually today. For some reason I feel optimistic about this semester…I should be way more jaded by now.

Monday, January 17, 2005

In the beginning

This is an unashamed self-aggrandizing vehicle for my domination of the universe. Note: more to follow.