Sunday, December 16, 2007

I'm a murderer.

I killed a mouse with my bare hands Thursday night, put it in a Shakespeare's cup and threw its seizing body out the front door. I didn't feel the least bit guilty--at the time--because:

1) It was loud and slow. Being Darwin's handmaiden is an ugly job, but someone has to do it. I am just Jules striking "down upon thee great vengeance and furious anger".

2) While I am far from being a neat housekeeper (all those threats of cleanliness imbuing godliness), a mouse crapping in my house was too much of an affront to my pride.

I had initially toyed with the idea of buying a live trap, but I guess this is the last nail in the coffin of my compassionate conservatism.

Where does this bloodlust originate? I may have inherited it:

When I was home one weekend, my father beat an armadillo (that had been eating the salad greens from the garden) to death with a baseball bat in our backyard while my horrified sisters and I watched. It bounced at least 2 feet off the ground.

Man of action indeed!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

The Immolation scene from Götterdämmerung is lofty background music for my midnight biscotti making, but who can resist a good multi-tasking opportunity?

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Don't you love how letting your mind wander at 2AM can resolve hitherto unarticulated aversions?

Crewcut sporting lesbians, invariably standing on courthouse steps dressed in pantsuits, have been a fixture of gay-marriage debate for as long as I can remember. I concede that they have a vested interest in the struggle, as a biological clock (the main impetus for seeking "equality") seems to not discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation. To each her own.

My repulsion by the side-show comedy that is the same-sex-marriage debate was caused by something more sinister than the "morally-bankrupt heterosexual institution" tripe. And thanks to Florence King, I finally have figured out how I feel.

I might as well have said, "I don't want to get married, I'd rather live in Paris and have affairs like George Sand."