Friday, October 21, 2005

I love puppies.

So it has been a long time since I updated. Basically I spent all this week studying for my 4 tests: entomology, physics, ear training, and insect diversity.

In other news I am recovering for a personal crisis: last weekend I freaked the fuck out for no apparent reason. Thank you Rachel and Craig for putting up with my neuroses, I don’t know what I would do without you guys.

This week I have been house-sitting for my boss who is in Mexico with her partner on vacation. Besides having to deal with a very naughty lab puppy, it has been a blast. I could really get used to living in the suburbs. I have neighbors who talk to me. A newspaper comes everyday on the front lawn. There are more than 3 rooms in the house. I seriously can't wait until I grow up.

Oh. I went to an underwear party on Monday (yay for being hung over for class on a Tuesday morning), and hopefully I can post pics soon. Although I felt very out-of-place being the only "ghey", it was so much fun! I will just say this: when I was straight, no hot girls ever drank beer out of the front of my briefs. Le sigh.

My dad is coming up for the Nebraksa game tomorrow, so I think that should be fun.

Leaving for the gym, TTFN.
Last week marked the six month anniversary of Craig and me. I am surprised (very happily I might add) that we have made it this far. And trust me, all the odds were against us.

I think our relationship can be summed up (how fittingly) by the Janet Jackson song Love Will Never do Without You.

They said it wouldn't last, we had to prove them wrong.
'Cause I've learned in the past that love would never do without you.

Thanks for 6 wonderful months baby.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

legions of legends

Instead of regaling you with stories of my random activities (80’s night, Corpse Bride, staying in bed till 2PM) from this weekend, I thought I would write about some ideas I have been milling over recently.

1)When I went home last weekend, I read some National Review (my favorite magazine). For those of you who don’t know NR is basically the political polar opposite of The New Republic (shudder, spit). I spotted an add for the complete collections of Florence King’s columns. Her back page spot ‘The Misanthrope’s Corner’ ran for about 12 years—I even wrote her fan mail one time. She was a Southern lady, with impeccable taste—she often appeared on the covers of her books holding a Phyllis Diller-like cigarette holder. (She wrote Reflections Through a Jaundiced Eye, With Malice Towards all and Charity Towards None.)

The appearance of Florence made me congeal a theory I have been developing for years. I know others have said it before, but here goes. Basically it is this: Conservatives hate people. This ‘curmudgeon factor’ is what has really drawn me to this amalgam of nihilist-libertarian-conservatism.

2)I want to be Jake Shears.

3)The Kennedy’s, Bushes, and the Clintons are sleazy for one reason: the have made a career out of being politicians. I don’t believe in altruism, and therefore they have to be faking it too.

4) I know schizophrenia is a horrible, debilitating disease, but I think it would be awesome to be a schizo for a day. I mean, hallucinations, delusions of grandeur, and illogical cognitive processes. Seriously people, what’s not to like?

5)People should not allow Manda and me to hang out anymore. It's just gotten out of control.

Referring to sorority girl walking past us on the sidewalk tonight:

Me: My ankles are perpetually cold due to the gap between my ugg boots and bottom of my cuffed jeans.

Manda: My upper-thighs have frostbite due to the fact that I wear super mini skirt in winter.

Me: My labia is cold in the winter because my low-rise pink sweat pants don't cover it.

Manda: I can't buy pants to cover my rotten crotch.

Me: I am laughing so hard I gave myself an asthma attack.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Typical convo in transit this weekend:

Ed: Yeah, he is so boring. Like white toast. No butter, no jelly.

Manda: Yeah, he would be interesting if he were fuh-black.

Ed: Oh, like faux-black?

Manda: Yeah.

Ed: Yeah, now he’s just fuh-cool.

Manda: Yeah, he’s fuh-a-decent-person.

Ed: Stop the car! I am dying of bitchiness.

[Edit: Manda's blog depicting our descent into the superficial and caustic. We are two vipers.]