Thursday, August 11, 2005

Suffragette City

So I have been a little incommunicado lately. Here’s the run-down:

When I woke up on Saturday morning, I heard a crow cawing outside my window. I hadn’t seen or heard a crow all summer, so I knew instantly this must be a very bad omen. A crow, really! How, biblical.

The power also went off on Saturday morning, so my computer was totally unfunctional and extremely fucked up. No internet makes nerds have *sad* faces. Should I blame XP or the power? Who knows, but since my bro works for the ‘great whore of Babylon’, aka Microsoft, I expect *heads* to roll. 4 days and $37.50 later, it works, but I am still bitter. Le sigh.

My car is also on the fritz. Battery or alternator? Hmm, I can change a tire, it’s true, but they ‘gheys’ aren’t too good with cars. So, I have to fix that before I can get my registration/license renewed. Which means, in the near future I get to deal with the DMV, or as I like to call it, ‘Satan’s asshole’.

I came home Monday to find my air conditioner leaking all over my kitchen floor, but the maintenance in my apartment fixed it within an hour, so after the week that I have been having, I was thanking god that there was someone competent left in the world.

Oh, and I hurt my hand working out on Tuesday, (and no Baron Flesh VonWintoor, I did not pull a muscle “pleasuring” myself, so you can get that idea right out of your head, you filthy Canadian hooker). So I basically couldn’t type, pick up things, or you know, do *anything* right-handed for 2 days.

A crow. The harbinger of doom.

Other than that, life is purr-fect. Craig’s 2nd wife is in town this week, and next week his 1st wife is town. And then his girlfriend is coming back to town. Good Lord, that pretty boy is a magnet for fag-hags (Ms Bees: stay away from my man or I will strangle you with your own pink fishnets).

So, sometime in the near future (I don’t even set deadlines anymore), I will post pictures from float trip, Kristin’s birthday, the house party at the brothel, my spring break, and naked sprinkler-soaked Ed pictures. Don’t hassle me about them, I already know that I am a Satanic lie-peddler, and will spend the rest of my life in procrastinator purgatory.



"the" Mrs. Astor said...

Keep an eye on Craig during Fag Hag Week in Columbus. I know for a fact that Bees is coming with some of her "special" honey.

Ed Grow said...

The Mrs"-
I will smack that clown-harlot four ways from Tuesday. I am not sure what that means, but we are definitely still on for the witche's ball. Boots of escape! Boots of escape!