Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Strange stranger in a strange land

As I was walking home from work late last night, I noticed that the lights were on in the green-house by Tucker (the building I work in). Upon closer inspection, I saw lots of little bugs crawling on the glass. Imagine my excitement after months of insect-free winter, to see hundreds of teeming miniatures swarming in front of my very eyes! Ok, you probably can’t—but anyway. I found some beetles and some mayflies that I didn’t have in my collection yet, so I was pretty stoked…but I digress.

So I am carrying my flat-tired bike, with a backpack on my shoulders, talking on the phone to Natalie, and trying to one-handedly pick the bugs off the glass and put them into an empty cinnamon Altoid box I scrounged out of my backpack—when I hear behind me: “May I enquire exactly what you are doing?”

A cute girl asks, several paces away from me, shrouded in the darkness beyond the penumbra of the nightmare glow of les serre chaude, as it were. Judging by how calculated and tactfully she asked her question, she encountered many crazy scientists in her life, and knew just how deal with them. After I explained what I was doing, we both had a good laugh.

Her: “I just saw you pawing at the glass and I thought you were either drunk or on something.”

Ok, Ed. This is a hint. Your normal behavior suggests drug-use and/or mental instability. Take it down a notch.

4 comments:

Jeff said...

I think you'd have been better off saying, "I'm on acid." than saying, "I'm collecting bugs in an altoid tin for my collection." But I'm really in no position to make fun since I just posted a comment on Alan's blog about dreaming about a girl's body covered in male and female genitalia and I've recently made videos of myself lighting my pubes on fire and another video where I'm bleeding pancake syrup out of my eyes. I photograph my shit if it's much longer than a foot. I tried to see how long it would take me to ejaculate 10 fluid ounces (I kicked the bottle over on accident before it was done.) When I was in junior high I did an experiment where I spit on wax paper and let it evaporate to see what kinds of solids are in saliva. Dude, I think you're normal. Every now and then I find myself saying, whoa.. take it down a notch. But I always end up being the crazy dude that I am. Whatever, you are who you are.

"the" Mrs. Astor said...

"...I thought you were either drunk or on something.”

Well, it wasn't the "something" now, was it?

robyn said...

to be honest, i'm a little afraid now.

Ed Grow said...

Jeff-

I plan on making that me new standard excuse: "Oh, I am sorry that I ran over your poodle old lady, but I'm on acid." Love.

PS-that other shit that you wrote is pretty weird.

Alexis-

I have been known to drink like a fish, but as of yet, haven't done any interesting recreational drugs. Derwood insists. Love.

Robyn-

I had a dream last night in which I told you that I wanted to be Frankenfurter for Halloween. You objected,, but I said (and I quote) "I have the legs, the pipes, and the sass to be Frank goddamnit!". See what you do to me pretty baby? Love.