Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Autonomy revoked

Ok tell me what you guys think.

After watching one to many reality shows on oxygen (or was it lifetime?) I have decided to seek the employ of a life-coach.

I know. You're excited.

As far as I can tell, a life coach is a person (preferably a witchy lesbian earth mother with spikey hair, or an Afrocentric matron with dread-locks) that makes sure that you live your life within the bounds of your belief system. Think if I had some one to follow me around and constantly remind me to do the right thing.

The only flaw with this system is that I am stubborn. And I like being naughty.

6 comments:

Ms Bees Knees said...

from wikipedia: Critics assert that the practice of life coaching amounts to little more than a method of practicing psychotherapy without any restrictions, oversight, or regulation and is merely a way of getting the "coached" person to pay for what is essentially a meaningless friendly chat.

fucking perfect. where do i sign up? let's fleece these bitches!!

amanda said...

ed, seriously, you push yourself too much on your own. you don't need an outside influence to uphold your protestant work ethic. if anything, you need a "life temptress" (drink bearing, of course) to make sure you have some fun once in awhile.

Aaron said...

I think instead of a life coach i would prefer to find a girlfriend who could boss me around and force me to do my homework. I'm sure there have to be plenty of attractive single girls out there that would be willing to flaunt their innate bossiness and in return i only ask that she cook me a meal every now and then. and have sex. what? you thought i would leave that out?

craiger said...

Manda--I AM THE DRINK WIELDING TEMPTRESS... tempter... you know what i mean!

Aaron--put that in a classifieds and see how many dominatrixes you hook up with!!

Seestar said...

the life coach from the fantastic FX show Nip/Tuck, Ava, was actually a transsexual/the Angel of Death. You would fit in perfectly. you're not really a transsexual, but i know you would enjoy ruining peoples' shit. I love that show and its innate raunchiness.

Ed Grow said...

Ms Bees-

I would be your life coach if you promise not to make a total ass of yourself while stumbling through Disneyland, high on painkillers, cursing old women, and with your nephew in tow. Other than that I think it would be entirely bearable. Ha! Love.

Amanda-

Yeah, I suppose my life-coach is known by another name: my inherent sense of guilt. Love.

Aaron-

I'll put up the bat signal. We can hold auditions tommorrow. I think a stringent competition of a bikini contest, mud wrestling championship, and then a healthy dosage of big 'ol boobies would do nicely. Yep. Big ol boobies. Love.

Craiger-

I agree. As always. Shh! Drama. Love!

Seestar-

I actually had the show Fresh Start from Oxygen in mind, but I agree, Nip/Tuck is 'ra-dank-u-lous' and we love it. Love.