Thursday, June 01, 2006

During my move across the hall to live with Lane for the summer, Manda and I discussed the peculiarity that is Paquin Tower.

For you non-CoMoers, Paquin Towers is a 15 story apartment building right next to U-Place. As far as we can tell, only mentally and physically handicapables live there. The formula for a typical resident is pretty simple: morbidly obese, riding a jazzy (often with a boom-box tucked underneath), and with a very small lapdog in tow. This fat-jazzy-lil’-dog prototype begs the question: when someone moves into Paquin Towers, do they automatically get a small dog?

“Hello. Welcome to Paquin Towers. Here are your mailbox key, bedsheets, and a small dog to serve as a foil to your enormous, bloated, handicapped body.”

One time Alan and Bianca took pictures of all the gas stations in Rolla and put them in a photo album. Manda and I are scheming right now to set up shop on the adjacent parking garage and dutifully document this handicapped person-dog phenom.

I love the summer.


"the" Mrs. Astor said...

It your duty to document the trauma of the dogs, not the bloated creatures bilking Medicare for the Jazids.

Countess Bedelia said...

Dear Ed, Today I am making my way through Mrs. Astor's list of links. I have read your comments on her blog and now I am here to read your words. I am totally confused.

But I did like the bit about the little dogs.

Ed Grow said...


I was gardening with my lesbian coworker last week, when I got in her car she put a towel on my lap, and told me that Rudy (her weiner-dog) was in heat "so she might be kind of leaky." I'm sure Rudy was mortified. I know Kiki would be. Love.


I am not surprised. It takes months of reading my incoherent ramblings to glean an iota of sense out of them. See? Love.

Ms Bees Knees said...

i am asking, nay BEGGING, you to document this fatty-capped phenomina. you can even put black bars across their eyes to render them anonymous. it’s deliciously cruel. Do it!

Anonymous said...

As a resident of Paquin, I can tell you that it is a public housing high rise for elderly and disabled people with limited income. The dogs are small because management has set a weight limit to the pets we are allowed to have. I am not certain what that is; I have a cat and cats are generally well under that limit. Helper dogs can be larger than pet dogs.

People ride those scooter deals because I believe they are cheaper than the power wheelchairs that some residents have. Medicare and Medicaid do provide the cheapest alternative. Myself, I have been declining any sort of scooter or powerchair that the Veterans Administration has been trying to put me in for ten years. I am still able to walk, but not very well.

Yes, we do tend to get larger when we become disabled. Exercise is often ill advised with certain illnesses. Gymns are expensive and many residents here can barely afford their needs, much less gym fees. Although, Paquin opened up an exercise room about a year ago with exercise equipment. Medicine is another reason many people tend to get bloated here. Because of limited budgets, many residents eat a lot of food that isn't very good for weight maintenance; i.e. mac & cheese, rice dishes, etc. As for the care provided for the pets; if a pet is being mistreated or neglected, management will see to it that that pet is removed by the Humane Society and will forbid that resident from having another pet.

There's no mystery here.